last night as i was scribbling non-stop in my tacky blue notebook, i realized that i’ve gone back to writing a paper journal. it’s weird. i haven’t kept a written journal in years. well, nearly three years to be specific, since i launched iwilldare.com. i just stopped with the physical journal, i decided that i didn’t need it anymore. i would get frustrated with how slowly the pen moved, not keeping up with what i wanted to say.
now, with things that are going on and with so many readers, i’ve decided that yes, in fact, some things should be private — not many, mind you, but some. it’s weird. i thought i was the most open person there was on the Web and now that i have things and so many readers and people involved in my actual life who read, i’ve discovered that maybe people don’t need to know every thought, every action, every mood swing — which kind of makes me feel like a dirty cheat, like i’m lying and telling half-truths. it also makes me wonder that if i had complete anonymity, if i’d be different. it also makes me wonder if i shouldn’t have caffienated chocolate for lunch.