state of the union

our uterus is in complete revolt. the midol forces have been brought in to quell the unrest.

it has come to our attention that dentyne ice arctic chill is the toilet bowl cleanerest tasting gum ever. we think we might be in love.

last night it was brought to our attention that our transformation into a 15-year-old girl is complete after spending over an hour on the phone giggling and smiling so much our face nearly fell off.

we’ve got our mother in a whirl because she’s not sure if we’re a boy or a girl. yes we’re still obsessing over the bowie song.

recently we were called a hot tramp and it made us erupt with laughter and sunshine.

our nipples have changed from ordinary bits of pleasure to painful searing nubbins from hell. we don’t quite get the heat factor, it’s probably some strange nippular disease.

despite spending a full $70 on groceries last night, we had peanut butter on sourdough for dinner.

there’s class tonight and we didn’t have to do any homework.

we’ve conned jeff into taking a writing class with us in the fall.

that is all.

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5 Comments

  1. UH 23.Jul.03 at 11:51 am

    Our nipples.

    Hear that, everyone? She’s decided to share! Woohoo!

  2. jodi 23.Jul.03 at 1:28 pm

    then come and get them, because i’m tired of the constant hardness and sensitivity.

  3. Thomas 23.Jul.03 at 1:37 pm

    Sorry, although I’d love to figure just how much of a percentage I have of Jodi’s nipples, alas, I cannot.

    I am busy being flung off a copulating span whilst being pummeled with a cloth container of diminutive mallets.

    Fear not, for my demise is not imminent. My assault left me with a temporary, yet distressing, irregularity in my gait.

  4. Tim 23.Jul.03 at 1:54 pm

    Given what you’re comfortable putting into your weblog, you might want to handle that paper journal with extreme caution – it may burst into flames at any moment. 😉

  5. magicvixen 23.Jul.03 at 2:30 pm

    you should totally use this for a story! this could make a hilarious short piece.