i dunno what my problem is, but i’m kinda still bitter about the hoo-ha last night. it was good. mom was surprised, there was a good turnout, but a few bad things spoiled the whole event.
first there was the uninvited, unknown drunks who stumbled into our gathering from the bar while i was in the bathroom. upon my return, these drunks took it upon themselves to shout, “SHE’S FUCKING HUGE” and various other size-related epithets that i didn’t hear. sister #2 immediately sprung into action, having them forcibly removed, while sister #3 restrained her husband from beating the crap out of them for making fun of me.
then of course there was my drunk mother. my mom hasn’t been drunk since sister #2’s wedding, some 7 or so years ago. but last night, mom hung one on, which lead her to tell me how much she loved me (cool), that she’d give her life for me (weird) and then she launched into this diatribe about how she worries incessantly about me because i’m all alone (thanks).
so yeah, i was pretty damn grumpy about the whole thing. i mean, fucking a. not only do i have to deal with the public humiliation of name-calling, i have to hear how my mom worries that nobody’s ever gonna love me.
so that sucked and i’ve been feeling pretty much like pond-scum today– even though the TTHM did call and make me feel a little better for a little while by saying nice things, i still feel like crying and crying and not stopping for a long, long while (i don’t think PMS is helping the situation at all). but i’m not crying. i’m not crying, though my eyes have burned 100 times today thinking about it all. i haven’t cried yet, but i’m afriad when i slow down for more than 10 minutes the tears will come and there ain’t gonna be nothing i can do to stop them.