i slept for like six hours in a row last night and was rewarded by a slew of weird dreams.

first, i dreamt that i was arrested for throwing away 100s of pounds of dog poop into someone’s dumpster. i can’t remember why it was so bad, it just was. the cop came to my house to get me. he walked in and asked, “ok who threw 100s of pounds of dog poop into the johnson’s dumpster?”
“i did,” i said. then he grabbed me by the shoulder and put handcuffs on me. as he was leading me out i asked if i had to spend the night in jail. he said yes, so i asked if i could get a sweater. he let me and then lead me to jail. i had to sleep in a cell, on the hard, cold concrete floor. the blanket they gave me was too short, and i was freezing. thankfully, the nice boys of limp bizkit came and layed next to me to help keep me warm.

second, i dreamt that a tall, thin boy (i think it might have been the former-outlaw, but i’m not sure) was going to iceland. he was at my house (in this dream i owned an actual house) waiting for the cab to come and i was following him around asking if he had everything and if he’d call when he got there and what not. he was generally annoyed with me, but i couldn’t stop. eventually as the cab came he turned and hugged me and he was crying. i’m so scared, i’m so scared he kept saying.

third, i dreamt that my very-much adored former-coworker bill died. it was terrible. TERRIBLE. i was a sobbing, hysterical mess. for some reason we had to bring a cooler full of food to the funeral. it was a huge cooler and sister #2 and i were trying to lug it down all these steps. a man walked by and didn’t even offer to help. i yelled at him “THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A MAN! THANKS FOR HELPING ME AND THE PREGNANT WOMAN.” the guy flipped out and started crying and explaining why he couldn’t help because his wife had just left him.

finally, i dreamt that there was some sort of weird party in my cube at work. like a real party, with loud music and lights and everything. i’m not sure what we were celebrating, but lots of peopel were there and we were having a grand old time. when, for some, reason i started leafing through a magazine and saw a letter in the magazine from promojoe (a former coworker) in the letter joe talked about his wife lauren. i flipped out. i didn’t know joe was married (he’s not) and asking people why they didn’t tell me. i was super angry. then in the same magazine i saw an ad that jess had designed, and nobody told me about. there was no copy, so i couldn’t be too mad, but i was still upset.

begin interpretations now!