bonny and kevin seem to think i’m unhappy.
but they’re wrong. i am happy. just because i get down or angry or lonely or scared or sad or stressed out or any number of the 4 million emotions that flit through me, doesn’t mean i’m unhappy.
i’m smart, i can walk, i can talk, i can see, i can hear, i can dance, i can laugh, i can cry, i can take care of myself, i can pay my bills, i can work, i can write. . . what’s not to be happy about?
just because i get lonely, a lot. doesn’t mean i’m unhappy. because i want to share my life with someone special and have yet to find that someone, doesn’t mean i’m unhappy. it just means that i get lonely.
perhaps, i don’t write enough about the happy stuff. perhaps i should sit down everytime i laugh and write all about it. i should tell you about how i had a meeting with jess, julie and maria and we laughed so loud that the bossman called and asked us to keep it down. and i was happy.
perhaps i should tell you about how sister #4 called on wednesday night to ask me a technical question. see, she couldn’t understand why she couldn’t “save her pictures to disc.” disc, being a CD. even though she knew full-well that she didn’t have a CD burner, she somehow decided to she could save them, just not burn them. how i laughed so hard my stomach hurt and couldn’t wait to tell my co-workers in the morning.
perhaps i should tell you about how i got another new liz phair song, “extraordinary” and it makes me grin my damn fool head off.
perhaps i should write more about sister #3’s new pregnancy and how absolutely thrilled i am. how i hope she has a girl because it’s easier to say nieces and nephews than niece and nephews.
or should i write more about how i held cade and max on my lap and read them curious george over and over and over again and i was so happy i thought the sun would burst out of my stomach?
i write and that makes me happy. i wish i could just make you all understand that. i write whatever’s on my mind. and the mere fact that i can share all that lonely, icky, down stuff; should attest to the fact that i’m not totally unhappy. getting it out, that’s just so damn good for me. holding it inside and letting it fester, not so good.
just because i want someone and i get lonely doesn’t mean i’m unhappy. a man is not going to make me happy. he will just make me happier, more fulfilled. but the absence of one does not make me unhappy.
sheesh.
good call, jodi. so perfectly said.
Perhaps you should write more about your trip to Memphis. Sheesh!
oh bonny, that’s the first comment that’s made me laugh out loud in a long, long, long time.
I really like your writing & seriously, would like to hear about this trip — to the very cradle of Americana music — I’d like to see you describe sights & soundes without all the emotion, because it would be a great read. 🙂 Wouldn’t have to dwell on Elvis or Graceland. What did the weather feel like (in February, right?) What was the most colorful, the funniest, the most poignant, the scariest episode on the trip? What did the sisters think?
I’ve never been to Graceland, though I have been to Memphis. In fact I spent the night between busses in a — Shoney’s, maybe? — there, next to the depot. To make a longer story short, the building across the street was some sort of civil hall, and as I sat there, about 100 distinctly black people exited out the door in front of me, all DRESSED to the MAX, women all in hats, the men in long black coats, and I just watched in amazement at all this elegance & remembered how important Memphis is to the history of music, at the least.
I’m glad you’re happy. It’s funny that I don’t even know you, and yet I worry about your happiness because of the things you write. Thank you, it-ner-net!
Kevin, that’s what’s nice about the internet,it connects those of us who don’t know each other and creates a sense of compassion for others going through the daily grind. I love reading about the big white guy in Hong Kong, and the Canadian who is living and commenting on Tokyo. With Jodi we get a view of Minnesota. To me this is a form of social evolution, the Dali Lama would be happy that we are being kind and thoughtful and living with a sense of mindfulness. keep up the good work!!!