if i were a 10th grade girl, tonight i’d hole up in my bedroom and listen to my tape of the last american virgin soundtrack, rewinding the tape to listen to Journey’s “Open Arms” and James Ingrams’ “Just Once” over and over again. i’d add a dash of REO Speedwagon’s “Keep On Lovin’ You” for variety.

that’s just the sort of mood i’m in. in my room i’d probably sob unendingly about how lonely i am and write some really bad poetry that sounds deep and meaningful to me– it’d probably steal imagery from the simon and garfunkel song “i am a rock.”

but i’m not a 10th grade girl. so i’ll just make me some dinner. try to find the cock-sucking cell phone bill that i seem to lose every month and watch friends’ reruns.