i spent my thursday night being a totally unproductive slacker. well, i guess it might really depend on what you call slacker. i will blame it on david lynch and fantasies about orange haired boys.

you see, i had full intentions of lazing about on the couch and watching David Lynch’s “Wild at Heart.” but watching nicholas cage and laura dern go at it over and over and over (and not because i kept rewinding) again, was more than my feeble, haven’t had sex in a 485 days brain could handle.

so instead of just rubbing out a quick one while on the couch and then missing part of the movie, i decided anything worth doing is worth doing right. so i stopped the movie and trundled into the bedroom– shedding my clothes and digging out various tools of masturbation. then i set to work.

damn, i am good.

three or four orgasms later, i fell fast asleep. yes, when i cum i fall asleep. i am an uncouth heathen. but you know, the vibrators really don’t mind if you don’t cuddle and talk to them when you’re done.

see, the waste comes in when i woke up at 10:44pm. not such a good thing. in fact it sorta sucks. i vaguely remember talking to sister #2 on the phone about a barbecue, but i might have dreamt that. i’m going to have to dream up some way to get that information.

so how did you spend your thursday evening?