you’d think that target would be a pretty safe place to venture on a thursday morning. kinda empty, kinda quiet. it’s not. target, that wonderful shopping nirvana, is turned into a wretched, vile den of soccer moms and screaming kids on thursday mornings.

it was most painful. i’m pretty sure soccer moms are the most self-centered, unobservant people on this planet. take this with a grain of salt. my vitrol towards soccer moms mostly stems from the time i got hit by one driving a green minivan. i got hit by the minivan, not my car. after i picked myself up and dusted myself off, she asked me why i was in her way. because, really the soccer moms own the planet.

today, one soceer mom seemed to be following me throughout the store. her young son was sitting in her cart screaming his head off at the top of his lungs. i heard that kid the entire time i was at target. she never made a move to calm him or anything. she completely ignored him the whole time. she also ignored her other son who would randomly grab things off shelves and place them in the nearest cart (not neccessarily his mom’s).

amazing.

i’m a firm believer that all women and/or men’s fertility should be turned off at birth. only to have it reactivated once they pass a year-long class and a vigorous test that would make the GREs look like a game of madlibs. then and only then can you begin to procreate.

just another thing to add to my to-do list for when i take over the universe.