All my life I wanted to be an actress.

When I finally figured out that Joanie, Richie and the Fonz weren’t actual people who we were lucky enough to watch once a week, I wanted to be an actress. I wanted to be on TV and in movies. I wanted the fame, the glory. I wanted to wear pretty dresses and accept awards.

I have a school-years book that my mom kept. In it she chronicled my growth, shoved my report cards, class pictures and every year I had to sign my name and write what I wanted to be when I grew up. Even though I toyed with other professions-ballerina, waitress, model, teacher, babysitter, I almost always wrote in actress. Well, except for the wackiness of second grade when I wrote in cowgirl.

Somewhere along the way that dream died. I think it happened when I was either a freshman or sophomore in high school. It was either my mom or my dad, who broke my heart. Probably my mom, since she’s the one who broke it to me at 12 that I wouldn’t ever get to be a ballerina. She told me that I was much too big to be a dancer, that ballerinas weren’t 6-feet tall.

So maybe my mom left it to my dad to break my heart this time. I just know one of them told me that I was much too big and tall to be an actress, that at 6’3′, I would be taller than all the actors and just look silly.

Thankfully the heart of a teenage girl is resilient and bounces back easily. So, instead of trying out for the high school plays I joined the newspaper and wrote about them. And, as they say, the rest is history.

But there is still that dreamy teenager buried deep inside of me who peeps out whenever an awards show comes on.

I love watching awards shows. To me the Academy Awards are like the Super bowl. I plan my weekend around the awards show, with special treats and everything.

Tonight the Golden Globes are on. This is like the playoff games. You know, the semi-finals or something. It’s just a warm up. But I love it nonetheless.

I think what appeals to me is all the old-fashioned Hollywood glamour– the hair, the jewelry, the dresses, it’s just all so yummy.

My absolute favorite part of the whole shebang is the acceptance speeches. They almost always make me cry. Not all of them, just some of them. Like tonight when the guy who produces ‘Sex in the City’ said something like, ‘and two these four ladies without whose heart and soul we would have meaningless sex and no love.’

I can’t really explain what it is that gets me to cry. Mostly I just think it’s that in the moment I can put myself in the winner’s shoes. I can imagine so realistically what it would be like to win, what it’s like to win the respect of your peers and the world.

I cry for their excitement. For my own, momentary excitement, when I can slip inside that person. I just love it all.

I probably would have made a kick-ass actor.