my shoulders are in knots. i hate being stressed out. i haven’t been this stressed out since. . . well when all that hooha happened in december. before that it was, well, i don’t remember.
usually i thrive on stress. i like the stress of too much to do and impending deadlines. i love that kind of stress. i don’t like the stress of uncertainty. that’s the kind of stress i have now, that’s the kind of stress that keeps me up at night.
not sleeping is my response to that kind of stress. it’s really weird, i’ve had an odd relationship with sleep ever since i was a kid.
tragedy makes me sleepy, uncertainty makes me unsleepy.
during the last months of both high school and college, i got around 4 hours of sleep a night. . . if that.
blarg. anyway, darling ones, you needn’t worry about my lack of sleep. it’s the way things are, it’s they way they’ve always been. things will straighten out and i’ll be back to my nappy, nap, sleep loving self.
things are bound to get better because i just bought a whole new set of swanky, flannely outer-spacey sheets. allegedly they are to arrive tomorrow, when i get them on the bed i’ll take pictures. be prepared, you’ll be jealous.
also, if anyone wants to come over and rub my back. . . i’d buy them breakfast or something.