Dear Disgruntled Readers,

Surprise! I am not perfect.

Yeah, it really is stunning, isn’t it?

I eat bad food, I cry at lame commercials, I whine, I pout, I get angry, I laugh at inappropriate times, I have a bad temper, I am lazy, I am hard on myself, I spend too much money on books, I am flaky, I make bad decisions, I am an attention whore, I like to do nice things and tell people about them hoping they’ll do nice things for others, I write sometimes without thinking, I change my mind, I run hot and cold, and I am a poor typer and speller.

I say stupid things and regret them, I make people laugh, I am snooty and judgemental, I hate people who are snooty and judgemental, I spend a lot of time arguing with myself about the hyprocrisies that seem to co-exist so easily in me, I use the word hate incorrectly, i am a drama queen, I tend to be negative and i hate that, I have an endless capacity for love and forgiveness, I wrote an e-mail to Jason at your-site apologizing for my bad temper, yet not recanting a single word that I wrote, I have low self-esteem, I have a giant ego, I get my heart broken about once a day, I spend more time laughing than I do crying.

I am resilient and strong, My friend Darnell said I was the most bitter optimist (or was it the happiest pessimist?) he knows, There are people on this planet who love me, who look forward to seeing me, who enjoy my company and think i am a good, special and worthy person (even if i have a hard time believing it myself), There are people on this planet who don’t care so much for me and wish I would go away or shut up, I am openminded, I am opinionated, I cry when people write mean stuff about me even if I know it’s true and worst of all, I write about it all for the world to see.

There you have it disgruntled readers, I’m not perfect. I thank you kindly for pointing this all out for me but you’re a little late. I already knew this. There isn’t anything bad you can say about me that I haven’t already said 192,384 times to myself. So phooey on you for being redundant (yeah, you can add that to the list of things i am too).

So, with that being said (another thing to add, i use the word So too damn much) you are more than welcome to slag on me. You can make fun of me, call me names, point out the inconsistencies in my personality, be my guest. But if you do it, please have the common decency, the courage and the fucking balls to sign your name to it. Really, it’s the least you can do. Besides, it gives your complaint some validity.

I do not write here under a pseudonym. I am Jodi. I take credit/blame for every word I write here (and sometimes i wish i could take credit for some of them that i don’t write because some of the people who read this site are funnier than hell). Like I said in the comments, if your goal was to make me cry and feel bad about myself, you win! Good for you, you’ve made someone cry. I bet your mother’s will be so proud.

I am now done with this. I no longer feel the need to defend myself against malicious attacks. I am done.