So it’s Monday, the Minnesota River is overflowing its banks and lately I can’t seem to put two coherent thoughts together. I am not totally sure what my problem is. Maybe now you will all realize how painfully dull I really am. Last night I drank cosmopolitans for my brother-in-law’s birthday. I also got my ass chewed out by 3-year-old Jaycie for borrowing her Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea video. Have you ever had a 3 year old angry with you? It’s not pretty and made me feel like the most wretched speck of slug slime on the face of the earth. She makes these terribly, mournful eyes at you and her bottom lip quivers. Aak! I suck.
So, tomorrow I will return her little mermaid movie along with a little notebook and cool pens, since I am such an evil mean aunt bad lady. Yeah, jaycie and max call me aunt bad lady. Aunt bad lady is much better than grody. Whenever I walk into the room max shouts, ‘Goatie you grody.’ And then he shrieks with delight, running over to hug my knees. I think aunt bad lady is damn funny, since I came up with the name. Except sister #2 was supposed to be aunt bad lady and her husband uncle stinky. Damn those two for having kids before me and stealing my wonderful names. Damn them all to hell. One more thing, if one more person tells me to get a little two-bedroom townhouse. . . my head will fall off. Mom, dad, sisters, aunts, uncles all of them nagging, nagging, nagging. I am not even kidding. Grammu says that I shouldn’t get too small of a place, because I need to have some room because someday I might get a boyfriend. Thanks, grammu.