i got this from one of you darling readers. it cracks me up to no end. i don’t even think i’d do too well on this test. but it’s the closest thing to a dating application that i would ever have.

Are you perfect?
Take the GEM test
(taken from REAL message boards and journals!)

Each answer gets points from 0 to 50.

Part 1:
1. Is test subject a non-“nice guy?”
2. Does test subject love corn dogs?
3. Is test subject a “hottie?”
4. Does test subject love the Replacements and Soul Coughing?
5. Is test subject good at warming up a bed?
6. Does test subject love books?
7. Does test subject like cats?
8. Give 5 points to test subject for each inch over 5’10” (max 50)
9. Does test subject find nose rings, and tattoos attractive?
10. Can test subject accept messiness?
11. Can test subject accept procrastination?
12. Can test subject accept devout agnosticism?
13. Does test subject like tall women?
14. Can test subject cleverly discuss writing as an art form?
Part 2:
If in a relationship with Gem, test subject would —
15. Greet Gem happily when she comes home?
16. Try to not treat Gem “badly?”
17. Try never to “present-tease?”
18. Try never to call Gem “shorty?”
19. Try to do all grocery shopping for Gem?
20. Try to make Gem feel cared for and appreciated?
21. Give “Leinie”s and flowers to Gem?
22. Hold Gem if she has a nightmare?
23. Try to keep Gem from feeling lonely?
24. Hold Gem during thunderstorms?
25. Protect Gem from worms and jello?

ha. this still cracks me up. i am amazed by my own simplicity. feel free to send all complete quizzes to jodi@iwlldare.com