i have met my one true love, its name is swivel glide vision for so long i have searched for love for that one thing that would make all this cleaning nonsense make sense and…
Posts tagged weirdo
rigorous scientific studies
yesterday, seamus approached me slinking lil slink back and forth between his fingers. “the minion forgot lil slink,” i said. “yep,” he said. “i kinda like lil.” “it doesn’t have the same slink as big…
it’s just gonna be the minion appreciation day because well, it’s her last day
“those who laugh loud also cry hard,” i said, reading from the fortune i had just slipped out of my cookie. “ha!” the minion said. “often one right after the other, repeatedly throughout the day.”…
chicago is tugging my sleeve
when i got home this afternoon, i immediately shimmied out of my pants and did a happy underpants dance. it involved flinging my weiner-legs about as i sang “My Kind of Town.” you’d have thought…
if she don’t scare you, no evil thing will
for lunch Al, the cutest girl in the world ™, and i had this absolutely divine piZza with white sauce, chicken, spinach, and enough garlic on it to kill 392 Lost Boys. my breath is…
following my brethern home
this evening as i was making my journey home from work, i was passed by a black toyota tundra. this is not unusual. i get passed a lot, because though most people i know think…