Dear Darling Ones, It’s my birthday today. I made it to fifty. You better be impressed by my longevity. I’m impressed, and nothing impresses me. It takes a ridiculous amount of hard work to be a human this long. The past two years have made it even harder. Hell, the past two weeks haven’t been a real treat for any of us, have they? Most years, when I have some money to spare, I buy myself a birthday present, a…
Hi Darling Ones, This afternoon I told a couple of clients I wouldn’t be available on Monday because it was my birthday and my sisters are coming to town. That’s when it really, truly hit me that god willing and the creek don’t rise, I’m gonna be fifty years old on Monday. 50. FIIIIiiiiIIFFFFFFfffffttty. Five and zero. I do not feel emotionally prepared to be fifty. I’m way too immature for such a wise & wizened age. The word ‘boner’…
Oh, Darling Ones, I don’t have religion, instead I have rock & roll. This is not a new thought. It’s a recurring theme in my life. Sometimes I wish I had religion. I love religious symbols and iconography. I like some of the stories. Most of the people I know who really study religion on both an intellectual and spiritual level are some of the smartest people I know. Sadly, I am not one of them. I’d like to say…
Dear America, I cannot with you anymore. I am hopeless and hapless, and that was before I learned twenty people were killed with a gun today at an elementary school in Texas. Eighteen of them were children. Last week a white supremacist with a gun murdered ten black people at a grocery store. In the last two years one million people have died from a disease we refuse to do anything about. What is your fucking problem, America? You are…
Hello Darling Ones, It’s a little after 5 p.m. as I type and I’m so hungry I’m considering eating dinner. This is 2-3 hours earlier than I usually eat dinner. I’m denying myself sustenance because it’s too early to eat and I’ve got two weeks before I can start being an early bird kind of eater. That’s mostly a joke. I’m denying myself because I want to type some things about turning fifty, also I don’t feel like making dinner…
Dear Darling Ones, When I stepped out into the cloudy afternoon light from the darkness of a mid-afternoon nap, I had only two things on my mind: people who are wrong on the internet and people who are puzzling on social media. I am the physical embodiment of the xkcd comic. I loathe letting people be wrong on the internet. There was a time in the distant past where I would not allow that to happen on my watch. I’ve…
