Dear Darling Ones, Back at the turn of the century I lived in a shitty apartment in Prior Lake down the road from a pub & restaurant called Hooligans. This was during the bowling alley era, and since it was the closest restaurant to the bowling alley that could seat us all, my family ate there a lot. To be fair, everybody in the Prior Lake/Savage area ate there a lot at the time. Pickin’s were slim in that area…
Hi Darling Ones, I didn’t start having seasonal allergies until I was in my mid-30s. It feels like a ripoff to develop them at that point in life. Shouldn’t allergies be something you’re born with? I thought I won some kind of genetic lottery until that weird spring of 2000-aught-something when I was convinced every other day I was coming down with a cold. My boss, JTo, listened to me wheeze and whine for like the third time in three…
Hi Darling Ones, A few years ago I read Maggie Nelson’s The Argonauts. I can’t remember the full context of the essay anymore, but at one point Nelson is writing about “The Shining” and how the woman Jack Nicholson is embracing goes from pretty young thing to putrid old crone in an instant. She says of the nameless character, “She did not get the memo about being beyond wanting or wanted.” That line has been a thorn in my heart…
Dear Darling Ones, It’s my birthday today. I made it to fifty. You better be impressed by my longevity. I’m impressed, and nothing impresses me. It takes a ridiculous amount of hard work to be a human this long. The past two years have made it even harder. Hell, the past two weeks haven’t been a real treat for any of us, have they? Most years, when I have some money to spare, I buy myself a birthday present, a…
Hi Darling Ones, This afternoon I told a couple of clients I wouldn’t be available on Monday because it was my birthday and my sisters are coming to town. That’s when it really, truly hit me that god willing and the creek don’t rise, I’m gonna be fifty years old on Monday. 50. FIIIIiiiiIIFFFFFFfffffttty. Five and zero. I do not feel emotionally prepared to be fifty. I’m way too immature for such a wise & wizened age. The word ‘boner’…
Oh, Darling Ones, I don’t have religion, instead I have rock & roll. This is not a new thought. It’s a recurring theme in my life. Sometimes I wish I had religion. I love religious symbols and iconography. I like some of the stories. Most of the people I know who really study religion on both an intellectual and spiritual level are some of the smartest people I know. Sadly, I am not one of them. I’d like to say…
