“will you stop rubbing your ass against me.” “must you lick yourself while laying on my feet.” “can’t we live in harmony?” “she asked me if we could be friends and i said oh honeybaby…
Browsing Category Misc.
the nutter butter mystery deepens
so mystery text messager strikes again. mystery messager: “No, but i thought about you in the grocery store – that should count for something.” me: “thoughts are nice, but don’t put nutter butters in my…
random text message of the day
i was standing in line at the grocery store, digging around in my bag for my check card, when i noticed sara the swanky cell phone had a message. i popped her open and there…
listen cracker, that’s enough of that nonsense
last night my body and my brain ganged up on me and said, “enough!” enough of the not getting to bed after 3 a.m. and then going to work. enough of this. enough. enough. enough….
time warp or when age comes back and slaps you in the face
hello. my ass is grass and life is the lawn mower. clearly i need to stop acting and going out like i’m a 23-year-old when really i’m an old old 33-year-old. how the hell are…
sometimes love can be expressed in a cheap one-night stand
to get my mind off work, i turned to Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye. i wanted to pick up and dive into A.L. Kennedy’s Paradise, but taking one look at my reading list shows that…