to get my mind off work, i turned to Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye. i wanted to pick up and dive into A.L. Kennedy’s Paradise, but taking one look at my reading list shows that i have let RP2005 get way off track. so tonight i stood in front of the bookshelves and flirted with Maxx Barry, contemplated Douglas Coupland, and pondered Aimee Bender. But then my eyes landed on Toni Morrison and i couldn’t be happier.
i’m only 39 pages into The Bluest Eye and already it feels so good. SO GOOD! curling into the pages of this book is like going to bed with a former lover you haven’t slept with in quite some time (and please forgive all the sex analogies lately, it’s been quite some time since we’ve been laid and well, we need it, in quite a bad way, but that’s another topic for another day).
i can’t quite remember the last time i read this book. i remember one year in college i had to read it three times. once for Women’s Lit, once for African-American Lit, and once for Lit since 1942 (or something like that). maybe that’s why all the lines are coming back to me and filling me up with so much joy.
i read, “Love, thick and dark as Alaga syrup, eased up into that cracked window,” and think ‘oh god yes, i remember this.’
then i read “So when I think of autumn, I think of somebody with hands who does not want me to die,” and i’m all ‘uh-huh, uhuh, do it again, just like that. the way i remember.’
then, because it’s been so long when i read, “The master said, ‘You are ugly people.’ They had looked about themselves and saw nothing to contradict the statement; saw, in fact, support for it leaning at them from every billboard, every movie, every glance,” i just lose it. ‘oh god oh god, yes, yes, oh god. i want more! again. more! harder.’
well, you kind of get the picture.
this book is so beautiful that i feel a little dirty comparing it to an impulsive one-night stand with a long-ago lover. really it should be compared to some sort candle-lit, romantic night of sweet sweet love with someone you respect, admire, and plan to spend your life with.
but we all know, that i’m not that kind of girl.