?You don?t need makeup.?

This was my dad?s refrain from the time I was about 10 until, well, now– he still says it all the time. I think I was about 10 when I discovered the makeup counted at our local Snyder Drug Store. I would gaze fondly at the rainbows of eyeshadow and long for the day when I could apply such a bounty of color to my face.

But dad was strict, aren?t they always toughest on the oldest? No makeup! That was the rule. I was pretty convinced that I would never ever get to wear makeup like normal girls. But eventually my mom swept in and laid down the momsmack and said that once I started junior high I could wear makeup.

I anxiously awaited that magical June after sixth grade was complete. After all, I would technically be in junior high, right? I spent a lot of that summer babysitting and saving my money for makeup. As soon as I had saved up $20, I walked up to Snyder Drug with my pocketful of babysitting money to buy me some makeup. I probably spent an hour at the store, trying to decide just what shade of $1.99 Max Factor To Go eyeshadow to buy.

After much internal debate I decided on a two– a lovely shade of turquoise and a delicate shade of violet. Yeah, sadly taste did not accompany my entry into the wonderful world of beauty products.

I rushed home with my new booty?Two eyeshadows, blush, lipstick and mascara. I couldn?t wait to go to my room and be transformed into a glamorous makeup wearing beautiful woman. I sat on the floor in front of the mirror and the three sisters lined up and watched with awe as I expertly made up my face. I lectured them on the finer points of makeup application and they hung on my every word. I was, afterall, the eldest, most mature, sophisticated sister.

Dinnertime arrived and I debuted my new look. My dad was horrified. I?m sure I looked like a clown. It?s not like I had anyone to teach me, my mom never wore makeup. I was totally on my own.

Of course over dinner my mom discussed the less is more philosophy of makeup application and what not. Of course, I totally ignored her. I spent the rest of the summer practicing my makeup techniques and when school finally rolled around, I got up at some ungodly hour in the morning to do my face.

I wore makeup everyday for the first month of school. One day, I ended up sitting on the bus with Tracy. She was a ninth grader from the neighborhood. She turned to me as we approached school and said in her kindest, most nurturing voice, ?Jodi, girls with hazel eyes shouldn?t wear blue eyeshadow. In fact, it?s probably not a good idea for you to match your eyeshadow to your outfit.?

Mortified was the understatement of the year. I wanted to die. When I got home, I looked in the mirror and thought that maybe she was right. I didn?t wear makeup the next day. Tracy commented on how I had done a much better job today.

?But I am not wearing any makeup!? I wailed. She said I was damn lucky. Because not everyone had such good coloring and could go bare faced.

Of course, I didn?t listen to her. I continued to wear makeup whenever it suited me and as I got older it suited me less and less. I think by the time I entered the 10th grade, I gave up on it totally.

When Sister #3 got married a little over a year ago, she ?won? a makeover for her and the wedding party from some Mary Kay hawking lady. Upon seeing my madeover face and in the midst of her sales pitch the hawker said, ?You look so good with makeup on!?

?I know,? I said, ? and I look just as good with it off.?

She stopped her pitch.

So yes, I am a bare facer. I don?t wear makeup too often. When I want to feel extra sexy, I will put on mascara and lipstick. But generally, what you see is what you get.

And I kinda like it like that.