Since half of the sister club is on the great Las Vegas road adventure with mom, sister #3 and I decided it hang out today. It was great gobs of fun and also emotionally exhausting.
It was just the two of us so we felt free with discussing most everyone who wasn’t present. Once that got tiring, we decided to discuss our own foibles and insecurities.
“I never understand why you worry so much about being left out,” Sister #3 said.
“I have a fear of being abandoned,” I said matter-of-factly.
“Why?”
My throat started to swell up with tears before I even began to tell the story.
“I’m going to cry,” I warned her. “Do you remember when you all moved to Wisconsin? I was sent away that weekend, that weekend you all left. I was sent to Grand Rapids to baby-sit TJ’s [a friend of the family] kids while she spent the weekend away on her honeymoon with JR.
“Someone was supposed to take me from the hotel in Grand Rapids to TJ and JR?s house. Mom had already left. She had to get up early to get back to Blaine, so you could all move to Wisconsin. She told me someone would take me to the house.
“I sat on the bed waiting and waiting. I knew checkout time was like noon or something and it was getting on to 2:30. I started to panic a little. I went knocking on the other doors. The doors where I knew TJ’s family was staying. But there was nobody there. Then I went into full-fledged panic mode. I didn’t have TJ’s number. I didn’t have any money, no car, nothing. I was just sitting there hundreds of miles from home, alone.
“After crying for about 20 minutes, I called home, collect. I was praying and praying that you guys hadn’t left for Wisconsin yet. I got Dad on the phone. I was in hysterics; I couldn’t get out what I wanted to say. I just sobbed and sobbed. He got angry with me and threw the phone. Nobody picked it up.
“I was totally and completely alone,” I told her the tears streaming so quickly down my face; the front of my shirt was wet. “I told you I was gonna cry.”
“I’m gonna cry too,” she said, her own eyes red.
“Dad must have gotten a hold of someone, because TJ’s mom came and rescued me. But there were no apologies. Apparently she was the one who was supposed to take me from the hotel to TJ’s house. They just blamed it all on her scatterbrainedness. So the weekend commences and when it comes time to go back to Blaine, back to my house, nobody wants to take me. Eventually they con JR’s parents into taking me as far as Forest Lake [a good 30-45 minutes from where I lived in Blaine]. They were not happy with that, but allowed me to sit in the back of their pick-up truck as far as Forest Lake, thankfully the truck had a topper.
“They dumped me off at the Country Kitchen in Forest Lake where I sat for two hours trying to get a hold of someone, anyone in Blaine who could pick me up and take me home. Eventually I got a hold of Patty [the cousin who was moving into our recently abandoned house with her husband and two kids]. Patty dropped me off at the house and immediately took off. She was on her way to work or something.
“I walked into the house that we had lived in for the past 12 years and all of you were gone. It felt like my entire family had disappeared in the night. The house was totally empty. There was no furniture, nothing. All my stuff had been crated into the basement where I was to live until I graduated high school.
“I was totally alone. I didn’t even have a phone number where I could call you guys. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. One day you were all there and we were still living together and the next day you were all gone. I know it was my decision to stay behind, to finish up my senior year, but I still felt like you had all ditched out on me.
“I tried to call Jodi Hanson, but she was gone. . . out shopping with her aunt or something. There was nobody. Nobody I could talk to, nobody to make me feel better. I was 17 and totally alone. I just sat on the floor in the living room and cried. I just cried and cried and cried. I didn’t know what else to do. I was incapacitated by my loneliness and fear.”
“Wow,” she said, “I had no idea. Now, I don?t blame you for being such a big baby when you feel like you’re being left out. I’d have abandonment issues too.”
And that’s how I spent my Saturday night.