when i moved into what is now Supergenius Headquarters, there was a hideous vinyl carpet runner on the stairs. we’re talking about the kind of carpet runner people put down because they don’t want the carpet to get ruined. it was terrible, and to make it even more tacky, it was attached to the stairs using shiny cheap faux brass rods. it was an abomination (not that our carpet isn’t already an abomination but COME ON a vinyl carpet runner?).

so once i was all unpacked and started making my wishlist for the headquarters, one of the first things that had to go was that hideous carpet runner. of course, because we argue about everything, sister #4 raised a ruckus.

“why do you have to take it down?” she asked.
“because it’s fucking ugly,” i said.
“it’ll look stupid,” she said.
“it can’t look any worse than it does now.”
“FINE,” she said. “but i’m not helping.”

as if i needed the help.

well, i guess i might have. unscrewing the tacky brass rods went really well, but when i was pulling the abomination from the stairs, i slid down a step and landed goofy on my ankle.

and now it hurts like hell. so i’ve been sitting on my ass all night with the ankle on ice. if it’s not better soon, i will probably have to amputate it.