earlier this week The Complete Calvin and Hobbes was FINALLY released. i’ve had this on my amazon to-buy list for months. i love Calvin and Hobbes with a passion that could border on creepy if i wasn’t so easily distracted. whenever i’m feeling really down my favorite thing to do is strip down to my underpants, flop onto the couch and read my old calvin and hobbes books. it’s an instant pick-me-up.

knowing this, you’ll be surprised to learn that i have not yet purchased The Complete Calvin and Hobbes. and this fact, it’s nearly killing me. because i want it so so so so bad. so bad.

why haven’t i bought it? because i have to save my money for closing on the New Supergenius Headquarters. Once we close, i’ll be back to having money that i can waste in fun and extravagant ways that tickle my fancy. but until them i’m for all intents and purposes broke as a joke. well, broke as a joke for yuppified, sell-out to the man me. which really, in the grand scheme of things, isn’t broke at all. in fact, to college-jodi, i’m fucking rich. but that’s neither here nor there.

in fact this isn’t about money at all. this is about impatience and instant gratification.

i’m terrible, terrible and rotten at waiting. while my chronic tardiness has to by my most annoying habit, i think my impatience follows as a very close second. my tardiness and impatience are so bad that i find myself annoying the hell out of me.

and, now that i think about it, i should probably move the impatience to the top of habits i have that annoy me list. because you never bounce a check on account of being late to dinner and you can’t really get the clap from squeezing the toothpaste tube in the middle.

see? my impatience and need for instant gratification leads to lots of bad things: lack of money, one-night-stands, entirely more bras than one girl needs, bad CDs, even worse books, purple hair, superman tattoos between your breasts, i could go on and on.

i was telling a friend about how my impatience means that i have high slut potential. because i don’t like to wait for things, i am prone to jumping into the sack quicker than i probably should. and it’s not that i’m a dirty, dirty whore. i’m not! it’s that i enjoy sex and don’t like to wait.

the thing is, working on being more patient is the hardest thing in the world. as my niece once told me, “i hate being patient, it takes too long.”