– yeah, why don’t you try getting your own personality. mine’s taken, by me.
– i’m sorry this sucks so much ass, but complaining to me isn’t going to fix anything and you’re really starting to bring me down.
– if you were any cuter i would have to eat you up.
– ya know, if you could just pretend once in awhile that i matter just the littlest bit to you, that’d make my week.
– TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT
– come to my house and we’ll have mad monkey sex and it will be fun.
– i love you, but you’re really starting to bug me.
– did you forget about me?
– i’m sorry i yelled at you (this one i actually did say to the person that i was sorry for yelling at).
– go tell someone who can do something about it, that someone is not me.
– i really wish y’all’d stop acting like a bunch of fucking lost kindergardeners and start acting like adult. my god i am not your boss/mom/girl scout troop leader.
– i liked that the first time, when i did it.
– do you remember? i used to be a girl in your world.
all the things i wish i could say but am too cowardly to say
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After I’ve gotten shitty service at a restaurant, or they’re late with my french onion soup (notoriously piping hot) and then follow up with the meal 5 minutes later, sometimes I give no tip or a small tip. I’m tempted to write or to say, “Here’s a tip – provide better service,” or more specifically, “Here’s a tip – try delivering the appetizer quickly and follow up with the meal 15-20 minutes later.” Or there’s the one I joked to my g/f’s niece … “you want a tip? drop the attitude.”
The “mad monkey sex” sounds interesting.
come on over!
I’m reasonably sure none of those were meant for me, but just in case… No I didn’t forget you.
I’m just going into hiding now that it has become apparent “four more years” is a foregone conclusion.