February 12, 1991
Today is a sad day, I had to finally abdicate my Minnesota citzenship. I changed my license. I can’t believe I am actually depressed about it, but I am. Tomorrow I am going to find the Spectator Office and fill out a card! I have to get my butt in gear and get over this damn fear. Things have got to get better.

February 13, 1991
Well, I did it. I finally “joined” the Spectator. To “join” all you do is fill out a green card with your name, major/minor, phone number, and your schedule. Then you wait. . . I still have yet to make any real friends.

February 15, 1991
I skipped math class today. It was the first time I have ever skipped a class in my whole entire life. I skipped because I was so depressed. Everytime I go to the Reading Room, I get so depressed. I depress myself almost to tears. I feel so lonely. It seems I can’t make friends no matter what! Then, of course, today had to be Valentine’s Day.

I feel guilty for skipping class, I shouldn’t have done that. Whenever I go to the “R” room I swear everyone in the place is talking about the “big fat” girl. I can see them spotting me and then telling their friends to turn around and look. It’s those times where I feel like dying. It’s so embarrassing. It’s on those times where I absolutely hate being me.

today
see? i ALWAYS hate february, it blows.