- There’s a slow-moving, never-ending river of red-hot rage that burns through me on a daily basis for oh. . . however long it’s been since the tsunami of sexual harassment & rape allegations have become the top news on a daily basis.
- I’ve used my rage-induced stupor to make my niblings & siblings elf hats for Christmas. Working on the hats and thinking about the people I love is a nice distraction.
- Being angry all the time is exhausting. Seeing how very little value society places on women’s lives is exhausting. Being disappointed by men you used to have some regard for is exhausting.
- A few weeks ago I had The Tibbles over night to watch “Stranger Things” season 2. It’d been months since I’d seen them. Now that they’re teenagers they’re too cool for the Spinster Aunt Jodi. Anyway, at one point Liam and I were eating G.H. Cretors The Mix popcorn. I ran out of cheese ones and still had a bunch of caramel left in my bowl. He picked out a bunch of caramel from his bowl and gave it to me. The kids are alright.
- Every day with each new report I review every incidence of unwanted attention I’ve gotten from men. Every time a man or boy touched me against my will. I think about all those things that were definitely harassment but that I swept aside because it happened to everyone, right? Right? This feeds my river of rage.
- My words have been gone for a long, long time now. I don’t know if they’ll ever come back. Maybe 2017 will forever be known throughout history as the lost year. It’s been pretty trash, though I do find time each day to write one good thing down in a notebook so I remember it’s not all bad all the time.
- Now that CSA season is over and BFK got a real job, we have CSA Supper Club on Thursdays. I make dinner for BFK,
Ben, and Max and it’s my favorite thing. Also, Walter comes over too and we get our cuddle on. - I’ve read a metric shit-ton of books this year. Maybe I’ll find the words to tell you about them. Some of them were really good, some of them were not.
- Work has been pretty busy for me the past few months which is nice because being on the brink of zero dollars and zero cents all the time is unnerving. It’s nice to have a little bit extra in the checking account after the mortgage is paid.
- I hope you have a good Thanksgiving surrounded by people you like and that you have things to be thankful for even though everything feels awful all the time.
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“My words have been gone” — YES! Me too! I hope you get them back soon. Meanwhile, enjoy the silence??
By the way, I love this font I am typing in on your blog, whatever it is.
There is no silence. It’s just that it’s all stuck in a jumbled up mess inside me and I cant find the emotional quiet to get it all down and out.
AND I love the font too! It’s called Playfair Display and it has the best ampersands & & &!