Today Largehearted Boy keeps peppering his Twitter with links to newspapers publishing their best books of 2008 lists. I am making my own list and currently checking it twice. However, while making the list I noticed that I read a lot of shitty, shitty books this year.
Because I always want to help the gentle reader, I compiled a list of books that you should all avoid like the plague. I do this kind of thing because I care. I do.
Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Friend: Jesus said fuck. The end.
The Screwtape Letters: Good Christian blah blah blah blah blah blah blah zzzzzzzzz.
Twilight: Me helpless girl, you glittery Vampire, let’s go to prom.
Candy Girl: I’m a quirky stripper who writes unbelievable bullshit.
Things I Learned From the Women Who Dumped Me: TV writers bad at writing things not meant for TV.
Netherland: Cricket + New York + No Plot = nap-inducing.
Downtown Owl: ND boring, adverbs, people shallow, adverbs, and then they die.
Avoid these books people. I suffered so you don’t have to.