I removed roughly a hundred entries from the iwilldare.com archives today. They were mostly of the “I have to clean the kitchen” variety and whining about that one time I had a cold back in December of 2000. Hey, blogging was new then and I thought the Internet really wanted to hear about how I was going to lay on the couch in my pajamas and watch “Splendor in the Grass.”
But see, last night at Rock & Roll Bookclub between the tequila and the talk about The Ghost Writer we spent a lot of time talking about Chuck Klosterman. Specifically, about how much we, as a group, cannot wait to read his novel Downtown Owl. My exuberance took the Rock & Roll Readers by surprise.
“You’re really going to read it?” Heidi asked.
“Oh yeah,” I said.
“But you hated his last two books,” Wolfdogg said.
“I know,” I said.
“But she really loved Fargo Rock City,” Sister #2 said, and made it apparent that I am quite vocal about my book preferences.
“I’m hoping it will completely suck,” I said. “If it sucks then I am done with his writing for good and that’s a relief.”
“What if it’s good?” Heidi asked.
“It won’t be good,” I said. “Did you read that short story in Chuck Klosterman IV?”
Everyone at the table winced in unison.
“That was so bad he shouldn’t have let that in print.”
We then went on to discuss how it was probably some sort of post-ironic hipster statement. I proclaimed loudly and repeatedly (because of the tequila) that it was total and utter bullshit.
“What?” Sister #2 asked. “If your publisher wanted one more thing you wouldn’t run something that was sub-par?”
I took the lime I was sucking on out of my mouth. “Fuck no. I’d doodle on the pages like Vonnegut or something.”
This why when I woke up this morning, with tequila fumes radiating from my skin I decided it would be a good idea to to do a little bit of walking like I was talking. It’s tough because part of me feels like I’m rewriting history and that feels wrong. But then the more rational part of me realizes that I’m probably the only person in the last six years who read about that one time I made enchiladas and they tasted good.