My thighs hurt from playing too much Guitar Hero. How sad is that? I have discovered after playing roughly ten hours of Guitar Hero this weekend (on two separate nights at two different venues) that I have developed my very own rock-n-roll stance, and it’s tough on the thighs.
Unlike my sisters and friends, I cannot play Guitar Hero sitting or standing still. No. I have to clear a three foot circle around me, because I need some space to walk back and forth in front of the TV. Then I have to stand with my legs about a foot apart — my left leg behind me, the right one in front of me, make sure my knees are nice and loose, lean back so my weight is on my left leg, and then thrust my hips forward with the guitar at my waist. Only then am I ready to rock.
And because that’s not dorky enough, I also have to constantly run my tongue over my top lip. It’s what I do when I am concentrating.
Really, it’s a wonder to behold. Sister #4 announced last night that what I lack in actual skill (Jaycie and Max are about the only people I can beat), I make up for in stage presence.
In my defense, it’s hard. Every time I get up to play, I think of Laurie Lindeen’s Petal Pusher. In the book she talks about Zuzu’s Petals’ first gig and how much it sucked because they had only been standing up, playing, and singing for about a week.
See? It’s just as tough to stand up, lick your lips and press the buttons on a fake plastic guitar.
But I am getting better. My goal is to play Wolfmother’s “Woman” (my song) at 100% by Sister #2’s rockstar party in November (where I will go as Elvis Costello, because allegedly I hold my guitar like he does).