There is a large, hard-to-suppress part of me that wants to delete every single thing I’ve ever written on iwilldare.com and start fresh. Going through the past 6.5 years of my life tends to do that to me (really only 3, since I’m at October 2003 now). I’ve been combing the iwilldare.com archives for the past hour of so, deleting posts that mention horoscopes or turkey sandwiches — it’s a surprisingly high number.
Despite every urge, I left all the stuff about the Outlaw (easily my stupidest moment) and every post about loneliness (still too painful to read). Of course there were good times revisited too – my puppy-dog eyes about the TTHM, the birth of my nephews, even the good old days when the Vodo was ‘Beautiful Robert’ (how quickly the first blush of a crush turns).
I have yet to speak to a single person today. Not Kelly,, Wolfdogg, any of the Sisterclub, or FFJ. Three years ago this would have been devastating. I would have spent the night whining and pining for companionship. But now, I think of it as a simple pleasure. I think I’ve come a long way, baby.