For reasons that are unclear to me, I have this odd compulsion to rub Brokeback Slink against my mouth. It’s been an overwhelming desire of mine for the past two days. I’ll even find myself with Brokeback in hand heading towards my lips.

Rubbing Brokeback or any office Slinky against your face is just about the most disgusting thing you can do in an office setting, besides maybe shit in my garbage can. Just thinking of all the unwashed masses who have handled Brokeback, who can often be found intertwined with Lil Slink, makes me shudder.

I think it has become perfectly clear that there is something seriously wrong with my brain.