As the Stink, Sister #2, Sister #3, and I were driving to the Acme Comedy Club (to celebrate Jodi Hanson’s, unofficial Sister #5, birthday) we got on the subject of how I was haughty. Apparently making fun of a shitty, shitty Chinese buffet restaurant in Champlin makes a person haughty.
“I’m Haughty Melodic,” I said.
Sister #2 snorted. “You wish Mike Doughty.”
“Hrmph!” I folded my arms over my chest and looked out the window.
“I’m a hottie,” Sister #3 said. “But I’m not haughty.”
“HRMPH!” I said louder.
“You know,” the Stink started. “If you’re haughty you can’t study the Talmud.”
The car fell silent.
“What?” I asked.
“It says so, if you’re haughty you can’t study the Talmud.”
“How would the Talmud know if I was haughty?” I asked.
“You just wouldn’t get the full experience of the Talmud, your mind would be closed to all it has to offer.”
“Like I want to study the fucking Talmud anyway,” I said.
“Because you’re haughty,” Sister #2 said.
I eventually had to concede that I might be a little bit haughty. But I can’t find what’s wrong with liking what you like and expressing that like with all of your might. Besides, that Chinese Buffet really sucked some donkey balls.