“i’m kind of a booksnob and i dug it,”i said, talking about the Dean Koontz book Seamus made me read.
“oh come on jodi, don’t sell yourself short,” seamus said. “you’re a TOTAL book snob.”

—————

“so is this your’s?” my ohioan colleague asked, waving the hot-pink feather boa that currently resides around the neck of a dinosaur i got from Sandy, my all-time favorite boss.

i adore this colleague adore so much because he said after writing his grandpa’s eulogy that he realized he had written it in Scout Finch’s voice from To Kill a Mockingbird he hasn’t been in the MPLS office in about 394 years, but he’s been hanging out the past couple of days.

“yeah, it’s mine,” i said. “i got it for my birthday a few years ago.”
“really?”
“yeah, i think i got it from kari.”
“oh, so if i shouted “everybody dance now” would you whip it around your neck and start doing high kicks or something?”
“i’m more of a fan of the can-can with some jazz hands thrown in for good measure.”

——————-

“i’m so bitchy, i should just go home early,” i said, prompting the director of direct direct to make slashing motions across her neck and point to the wall of her office, indicating that the newest grand high muckity muck was in the office next door.
“what?” i said. “canadians are offended by the word bitch?”