you might think you’re a player, but you’re bumpy in love

i’m not a drug taker. never have been. i think it’s because i read somewhere or made up the fact* that the more tylenol/advil/aspirin you take the more it kills off your body’s natural painkillers. so i don’t take the drugs. i’m a just say no kinda girl. that is until cramps over take me. lucky for me this only happens about every other month. instead of the physical pain that some women are afflicted with when they menstruate, i get the psychic kinda pain. the wild mood swings, the crying at work, the rage in the cage, that kind of stuff. but on occassion i get the gut-twisting cramps.

today is one of those days and on days like this i totally give myself permission to take midol, the wonderdrug of the 21st century. i always have midol with me. always. except today. today my brilliant blue sarcophagi are at home, and my uterus is in full rebellion mode. i’m hope that the jellybeans located on the treat table which is within arm-length will have some sort of psychosomatic effect on my uterus.

*no kidding with the making shit up that sounds really convincing and scientific. i once convined wendy that you could slowly kill someone by feeding them little clippings of their own hair, fingernails, and toenails. sadly, when pressed for proof, i couldn’t find any. i swear i saw it on Unsolved Mysteries or something. also, i’m totally listening to shaggy and liking it.

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3 Comments

  1. Wendy 30.Mar.05 at 5:17 am

    You were very convincing with that, too, I might add!

  2. the TTHM 30.Mar.05 at 1:58 pm

    so like if they were YOUR hair, fingernails, and toenails, i could like totally see cause of your high levels of natural painkillers and all.

  3. jodi 30.Mar.05 at 2:01 pm

    how did your ass get so smart?