yeah, well today totally did not go how i planned it at all. not in the least. there are times in your life where you can convince yourself so wholly of something that you never even plan for the opposite to happen. today the opposite happened and it took me completely by surprise. so much by surprise that i think i’m still a little in shock.

when i woke up this morning i was convinced i was going to be laid off. the company i’ve worked for for the past five years had recently been acquired by a new company, a company not located in Minnesota.

all signs pointed to yes, i would be unemployed when the new ‘re-org’ was announced. having been able to wrestle with the idea for the past three months, i had come to grips with my fate. i had a strategy, i knew what i was going to do. i was ready for it. bring it on, i thought. change is good, change is good, i chanted to myself.

of course, i was still a little terrified, as i watched shaky macdougal put on his coat and prepare for his final exit. i walked back with my boss boss to an office and sat down.

“i just want you to know that your position in the company is secure,” he said.

that’s about all i heard. i was not prepared for this. there was no way to be prepared for this. i left that back office 10 minutes later, pale and shaky. i ran into kappakappakappa (a coworker).

“you gonna be ok?” he asked.
“i don’t know,” i said. “they’re keeping me.”

then he burst out laughing. that was sort of the general response i got. i had convinced myself and everyone else that i would be let go with the others in the lay-offs that often accompany such corporate things.

but i’m not. i lost some good good friends/co-workers and that’s so sad i can’t even really think about it yet. one of them even made me cry, right there at my desk. others just give me that ache in my heart. but i’m safe for the time being, and now i have to prepare for something completely and totally new.