holidayed out

i’m frustrated. i’ve been so out of the habit of writing that everything i put down comes out awkward, clumsy, and not quite making a lot of sense. it’s driving me absolutely batty. i wish santa would have brought me a little bit of writing talent for christmas.

i was trying to write about how i got everything i asked for for christmas and how it was weird. how it seems as though my parents are compensating for the childhood christmases we had that weren’t so great. i was trying to write about what it was like to grow up so poor. but none of the words were fitting together quite right and the whole thing was mostly sort of bugging the shit out of me. so i just deleted the whole mess and now i’m cranky as hell because of it.

so yes, to sum up, lots of gifts made me feel thankful and greedy and a little weird.

fuck. is it just me or is the universe a little out of alignment? because i just don’t seem to be able to fit comfortably in my own skin lately and i really don’t know how much more of it i can take.

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3 Comments

  1. kara 27.Dec.04 at 12:13 am

    i think it is the universe. i spent 2 weeks all wacky and bitter. i’m finally back to normal (for me), and i don’t know how i survived the bitter weeks.

  2. jodi 27.Dec.04 at 12:14 am

    i am so glad to hear that. i can’t wait to get back to normaljodi. because this really weird can’t think straight sort of retardedjodi is someone whose ass i want to kick.

  3. PeeWee 28.Dec.04 at 10:52 pm

    I know Mercury was in retrograde from around Thanksgiving until December 19th, but I STILL feel whacked.