FFJ said:
the superhero in me that cannot be supressed sometimes is “The Vodo Hostess.” this savvy bitch can put together just about any event in less than 10 minutes and pull it off with grace and pizzaz.
i’m curious as to other people’s inner superheroes. . . well?
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One of my many superhero personae is “Top Shelf Grocery Store Grabber”. He generally emerges when there’s some 5’2″ Grandma gazing longingly at the last can of Hunts Tomato Sauce (Four Cheese, of course). TSGSG comes out and reaches with his freakishly long simian-esque arms and plucks the item down and passes it to said Grandma. TSGSG was a mild mannered boy of 11 who had already surpasses his own Grandma’s diminutive stature. While visiting his Grandma, he accompanied her to the store, so she could make doughnuts the next morning. But there, in the baking goods isle of the Jewel, horror struck the septuagenarian; The only bag of cake flour (all-purpose flour would NEVER do) was on a shelf just outside of her reach. Panic started to set in. She used her last means of access; Her tippietoes! As her small frame extended further and further, her fingertips grazed the shelf. “Only a little further,” she thought. Just as she thought she could feel the paper of the bag itself, gravity, age and weakness all consipred together at that moment to deny her her prize. Time began to slow and all my senses were coming alive; I could see the bag almost as if it were shining it’s own light. I smelled the contents of the bag as it stood on the shelf. I heard it mocking her in a sing-song voice. I could feel the texture of the bag, and the way the contents would shift so as to move away from a prospective purchaser. And I could taste the bitter bile that rose up in outrage; How DARE an insignificant sundry stymie my gentle Grandma! With a will unbeknownst to me, I stepped forward. No longer a mere Grandson, I was now TSGSG! The once proud bag of milled grain now cowered in front of me. It offered to protest to my grasp, or when I placed it securely in our cart. “Oh Thomas,” my Grandma gushed, “you’re such a good boy!” We continued our journey through the store with a renewed vigor. She was content to pick out the items she required, and I was responsible for procuring them from their perches. I never went to the grocery store with her again as she passed on not long after that day. While I can’t be her TSGSG anymore, there are a lot of Grandmas in this world, and even more items naughtily shelved too high. As God as my witness, no Grandma, Mother or child will ever be for want of the stuff “up there” so long as TSGSG is in their aisle!
Don Quixote (so much that I took his name). He had the courage to go forward even when he had no chance of success and the whole world thought he was crazy. May I someday have the heart and courage to lay it all out there and find the way.
ahh, damon you’re so damn noble.