burning with fury

here’s what i have learned today:
no matter how witty, intelligent, and charming i am, i’m not the kind of girl i always wanted to be. i’m not the girl to make blood run faster through a man’s veins. i’m not the girl that he can’t forget, the kind that cannot be chased from his mind. i’m not the girl who is thought about or not understood. and that just pisses me off. you know why i’m not that girl? because i have no fucking mystery. i mean i have fucking mystery, i do, but it’s not vastly apparent. i just seem like a big, open book– because i say what’s on my mind, i show people how i feel, and everyone is too fucking lazy to dig beneath the surface to see what more is there.

and that’s my problem. or something.

this psychotic rant complete with actual tears was brought to you by the letter P, the letter M, the letter S and the number 5.

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9 Comments

  1. heather 13.Jan.04 at 3:14 pm

    that’s nothing. country music has been making me cry this week. fucking hormones.

    Reply
  2. Kevin 13.Jan.04 at 3:19 pm

    I spent years dating the damaged/mysterious girls, and it wasn’t until I met my wife that I realized that mystery is highly overated (is it overrated, overated or over-rated?). I much prefer my smart, blunt and hilarious wife who doesn’t keep me guessing over the mysterious headcases I used to inflict on myself. I don’t know how this helps at all, but I just had to share.

    Reply
  3. hope 13.Jan.04 at 4:59 pm

    I second and third Kevin’s opinion. I LOVE blunt, opinionated, hilariosly funny women. Why would anyone want such mystery? Tell me what’s on your mind, what you want, and what you don’t–that’s what REALLY gets under MY skin. However, in your case, I don’t think that what I like’s going to help.

    Reply
  4. dainec 13.Jan.04 at 6:20 pm

    Down with mystery; up with confidence.

    You’re a Superstar. Believe it and be it.

    Reply
  5. snarky 14.Jan.04 at 9:49 am

    Ditto to what everyone else said. I used to be jealous of those charismatic, shadowy types until I discovered that most guys tire of mystery once they grow up a little.

    Reply
  6. Helen 14.Jan.04 at 11:18 am

    You know there is something to be said for mystery,especially when it is authentic. Audrey Hepburn had it. Catherine Deneuve has it, but that’s THEM. That’s who THEY are. All women do not have to be alike. Being yourself, whatever that is, is what’s important.

    Reply
  7. jodi 14.Jan.04 at 4:35 pm

    sugar, you should know by now i’m a week-long miniseries on PBS or when i get lucky HBO.

    Reply
  8. Scott McGerik 14.Jan.04 at 4:27 pm

    “because i say what’s on my mind, i show people how i feel, and everyone is too fucking lazy to dig beneath the surface to see what more is there.”

    Heh! If all can not be revealed and resolved in 90 minutes, then you have no place in this movie!

    Reply

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