even on her death bed, my grammu worries about my continued singleness.

“any boyfriends jodi,” she said as i stood at the side of her bed and smiled for lack of anything to say. this is the same question she’s asked me every single time i’ve seen her since i was about 14. she took a brief break from the question when we both lived with my parents, but after i moved out, the question started up again.
“nope,” i said.
“what’s wrong?”
“the boys don’t like me grammu,” i said.
“but you’re so pretty,” she said, because she’s my grammu and she hasn’t been able to see real well since about 1987.
“i dunno grammu,” i said.

then the nurse came in and things were wretched. whenever the nurse comes in the look of sheer terror in my grammu’s eyes makes me want to vomit. it makes me want to protect her and shoo the nurse away.

before she fell asleep, grammu asked us to bring a book. Kentucky Rich by Fern Michaels. i told grammu if i couldn’t find it, i’d bring her something good to read. she just smiled.

“i remember when you used to like my books,” she said.
“i loved them,” i said.

thankfully, sister #2 had the suffer the indignity of buying that one.