i’ve returned home to my humble abode after a mind-numbingly boring day at work and the bowling alley. already, i long for the mind-numbingness. because even in all the boredom there were distractions– link copy to write, surveys to proof, beers to get, shoes to rent.
but here, at home, by myself, the melancholy and worry have me all to themselves. here it’s hard to fight off the worry and the fear and the tears.
tomorrow sister #4 goes to the breast clinic (or the knocked doctor as she calls it).
i’m scared, alone, and i don’t know what to do.
i fear that if i don’t worry enough it’ll be something serious. at the same time i fear that if i worry too much, i’m making it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i just don’t know what to do.
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the boob doctor is a scary thing. I’m only 23 and went through it too when I was 21 or 22. I can’t remember now. but I had a lump and I was scared shitless. I didn’t tell a soul. instead I stressed myself out so much that I didn’t eat for a couple of days. however, it turned out fine and ended up just being a cyst. your sister is quite young for something like that and I’m sure she’ll be fine. I will keep her in my thoughts.
Jodi, honey; You really don’t have the entire fate of the universe in the palm of your hand. You’re incredibly observant and intelligent, but you don’t have the power of fate. Just be strong for your sister and yourself and let things happen.
My thoughts, wishes and prayers are with you and your family.
Getting regular checkups saved my grandmother from dying of breast cancer. She is healty and doing just fine.