attention darling ones. the following is a test of the emergency birthday system.

i feel it is my duty to bring to your attention that there are only 120 more days until my birthday. i repeat only 120 days until my 30th birthday. do not panic, you still have plenty of time to get me a gift. also, tiger lilies are my most favorite kind of flower. please, feel free to send them to me at work.

thank you. this was only a test. should this have been an actual birthday emergency, i would have given you my work address.

we now return you to your regularly scheduled program.