i give such good paradigm

it was a bad day at work.

ten percent of my company was laid off today. it sounds much more stunning that way and i want it to sound amazingly shocking, because i am dazed and shaken still. . . 12 hours after i heard the news.

for a company of 118, 11 people is a lot of people to lose. so now were a company of 107, at least for the time being.

i’ve never been through something like this. not ever in my entire working life. this gig at the software company is really my first foray into corporate america. there was a devestating layoff back in october of 99, when they eliminated an entire portion of the r&d department. but i had only been working there for two weeks and i didn’t even know anyone in r&d.

today, i knew all of them– all the ex-employees. it’s a bitter pill to swallow. they layed off the director of marketing, some of our IS guys, a bunch of sales people. i know in my heart of hearts that they cut a lot of dead wood and what they’ve done is for the best, but it doesn’t take away any of the sting or the fear.

i keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

i don’t like seeing grown men cry and today there was a lot of that. the entire office had the feel of a funeral. what sucks the most, the hardest is that my best friend wasn’t there today. i couldn’t discuss it with kari. i don’t think she even knows. she’s still employed and that makes me unendingly happy. but i can’t get a hold of her, she moved and her phone’s not connected yet. aak!!

michelle and al, the cutest girl on earth™ weren’t in today either (both of them are still employed and for that i am unendingly grateful). but i just feel the need to discuss this with the girls. i want more than anything to talk to them.

i am still amazed. monday is going to be a trip.

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1 Comment

  1. Kevin 01.Dec.01 at 8:23 am

    Having gone through several gigantic layoffs at AOL, I can tell you it’s normal to think the people who lost their jobs “died” in some way. It’s just the way it works. The trick to getting back to work is to expect and accept grieving for them, and then move on. On the day of a layoff, we always cut out early, go out to lunch or happy hour and bitch and moan. Once that’s done, it’s done, and we can come back to work the next day, and it’s a little better.