sometimes it frightens me how very much alike my sisters and i are. i just got this e-mail missive from sister #2:
Doorbell rings. Of course I panic and want to hide. but since I am the Mom I figure I should answer it.
I approach the door to see 2 young men wearing black suits with name tags saying The Church of Latter Day Saints. I think shit they have seen me now I have to answer the door.
Guy #1: (why do they always come in 2’s ) Hello we are Missionaries from the Church of Latter Day Saints coming door to door to talk about Jesus.
Me: (Suppressing laughter) Hello
Guy #1: Has anyone like us come to your door before to talk to you about Jesus?
Me: (Lying) Yes
Guy #1: Really, about how long ago was that?
Me (Still Lying) About 6 months ago.
Guy #1: And did you get to talk to them about Jesus?
Me: (More suppressed laughter) No, because I’m really not interested.
Guy #1: Oh. Do you attend church around here?
Me: No, I don’t believe in god.
Guy #1 and #2 eyes pop out of their heads and both are silent in shock.
Guy #2: ( Guy #1 hasn’t regained his composure) May I ask why?
Me: ( total Jodi line) I think it’s all a bunch of crap.
Guy #1 eyes now fall completely out of his head.
Guy #2: I am really sorry to hear that.
Me: That’s OK!! Have a nice day. (Shut and lock door)
The End.
she makes my heart sing with pride.
*snicker* I said, “I don’t want your propaganda” to some mormons once, and they totally freaked out.
I told them that I am a Hungarian Neo-Pagan, but I would pray to my Gods for them and their souls.
Am I the only one who has a fantasy about seducing those boys?
*snorts* I was sitting outside of my dorm once and the litte shits tried to bug me and the first thing out of my mouth was, “I worship the devil. go away.” lol. They were like, “have a nice day! bye!” hahahaha
weird. I’m the one that lives in SLC and they haven’t come to my door yet.
and laural, you’re a sicko, but a funny one.
about the suducing thing…. once upon a time i went to a crazycrazy halloween party (dressed as little orphan annie). i don’t remember much after the tequila shots except making out with a boy dressed as hugh hefner and rubbing repeatedly against two boys dressed as mormons. i may have also licked one of them, but who can really say? … i’m sorry, but their costumes were just too tempting.
when they come to my door i usually politely tell them i am jewish. every time, without fail, i get a sort of “what is this ‘jewish’ of which ye speak” reaction. i mean HELLO.
i did once have a really cute mormon girl next to me on a plane flight. we talked the whole time and actually hung out a bit later. i used to have fantasies all the time about how she would find my ungodly ways irresistible and i would teach her the language of love, but unfortunately it was not to be.
laural wrote: “Am I the only one who has a fantasy about seducing those boys?”
No. 🙂
Actually, I’d have had a lot more fun with them, first pretending to agree with them, then mentioning how I just saw Jesus the other day, and we reminisced about the good old times when he dropped acid and we gave each other blowjobs.
ROFL