Today should be a day of mourning. We are mourning the loss of my perfect driving record. Yes, for the first time in my 13 years of driving, I got a ticket.
Oh the humanity!
I don?t believe I even deserved the ticket. C?mon, I got the ticket for running a red light– a light that was mildly orangeish at best. I was tooling my way to work and I saw the light turn yellow. I thought for sure that I could make it. But I was wrong, dead wrong. After skipping through the light, I thought to myself, ?phew, that was kind of close.? Then I looked up and saw the cop car behind me.
She didn?t flash her lights at me right away, so I thought I was safe. I stopped at the next light and as it turned green, the cherries started flashing.
?damnit.?
She pulled me over and approached the car.
?Do you know why I pulled you over??
?No.?
?You just went through that red light.?
?oh, sorry.?
?Can I have your license and proof of insurance??
I hand over my license and then pop open the glove compartment. Inside is a nice, shiny, metal. . . flask. Yes, there is a damn flask in my glove compartment. It?s my brother-in-laws, from his wedding. It?s been sitting in the car for nearly a year now. fuck! Luckily she doesn?t see it and I can?t find he card anyway.
She takes my license and heads back to her car. Fuck!
?Why did you go through the red light??
?I dunno.?
What kind of question is that? I ran through it because my lesbian love partner is in labor and I need to get to the hospital pronto. I ran through the red light because I really don?t feel like waiting. I ran through the red light just to make sure you were paying attention.
Shesh.
So now I gotta pay a $90 fine and my perfect driving record has been besmirched.
Of course I blame this all on sister #4. Clearly, it?s her fault. If she hadn?t been the first to get a speeding ticket the evil ticket giving cops juju would not have been surrounding me.
Grrrr.
you said ‘besmirched’! you’re my hero!
p.s. i’m sorry about the ticket. i felt the same way when i got my first (and only) speeding ticket.
i got a speeding ticket once driving home from school over a break. like 94 in a 70. in the rain. mr. state trooper said i should be more “conscientious” of my surroundings.
also, in high school, i got some bogus ticket at like 2am for changing lanes without signaling. there was no one on the road. except a cop like a half mile behind me. he claimed i nearly cut him off. when i told him he was like way far back there, he gave me a ticket for not wearing my seatbelt. this was in my little suburban hometown. my dad was in a church men’s club with the chief. the ticket mysteriously disappeared. three cheers for corruption!
If parking tickets don’t count, my record’s been clean for almost 18 years. If they do, well, it’s more like 11 years, but still pretty snazzy.
Now Herself OTOH is leadfoot reincarnated. And an unlucky one to boot. She even lost a sea battle on land against a boat trailer. Failure to yield, 2 C-Notes.
In comparison, I’m almost godlike. 🙂
I got my first speeding ticket the other day, and had to shell out $105 for it. But, it’ll get wiped from my record if I don’t get another one for a year. I’m working on it!
bleh.. I got my first speeding ticket last december.. 2 points and an $85 fine.. when I told him I’d never been pulled over or gotten a ticket before he says, “well, let me be your first.” stupid sarcastic fuck. I wish I could have punched in his ugly cop nose.
i dont mind speeding tickets.i average like 2 per year and find it a rush.the money doesnt bother me and if you wear a polo shirt without an undershirt it can make you feel so good if you like getting in trouble.Try it, it’s fun. i am 26, and have 23 tickets to my name!!!