this is it, my last day of mourning. i am tired of crying. i am tired of being sad. so very, very tired of my heart aching. the time has come for me to move on.
sequestered in the midwest, i am lucky, it will be easier for me to regain some semblance of normalcy. one can only allow their heart to be broken for so long before it threatens to suck them right in.
of course, i will still seek out breaking news. see how history continues to unfold. but i will not sit glued to the tv for hours on end, will not complusively check nytimes.com to see what’s going on.
nope, i am done with that. i’ll still cry at the news. that’s something i’ve been doing for the last 10 years– that is normal in my world. i’ll still get goosebumps at the horror of it all. i’ll still be moved beyond words at the atrocities we’ve witnessed. but no longer will it be the central focus of my days.
tomorrow i will go out and shake my booty in the crisp fall air. i will listen to bands i’ve adored for as long as i can remember adoring music. i will be with people. my people. minnesotans, and some of the best minnesota music around.
i will laugh and smile and dance and i will not feel guilty. i will celebrate life and be joyful and thankful.
in the meantime, i will go to the bowling alley. hash over the weeks events with my friday night boys. tonight, i will cry. but tomorrow, it’s a brand new day.