all this talk of boobs. . .

so all this talk of boobs (i hate that word, it just seems trashy, it doesn’t have the the goofiness of boobies [which makes me giggle] or the classiness of breasts) reminded me of a conversation from work today:

“i totally have penis envy.”
. . . (silence as james and the evil munchkin look at each other to make sure they heard me right)
“really, i would love to have a penis.”
“why? i’d love to have a vagina. i’d just get me a camera and take pictures of me all day long.”
“they aren’t that aesthtically pleasing. now a penis, those rule.”
“if i had a penis i could name it and stuff, and i would totally name it.”
“you can name your vagina.”
“it’s not the same. you know penises, they’re so cute, they have their own personality and a mind of it’s own.”
“i’d call it phil.”
“oh yeah, because you’d phil her up baby.”
“Yes! i’d be like the best man ever.”
“you’re a pretty swank girl.”
“but still. . . i’d be the best man ever. chicks would love me!”
“that’s because you’d be philing them up.”

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  1. Dave 03.Jul.01 at 5:04 am

    The one nice thing about penises is that they’re wash and go. It’s not like the rigorous upkeep that the vagina requires.

  2. Laural 03.Jul.01 at 11:24 am

    “rigorous upkeep”???


  3. modernpoverty 03.Jul.01 at 11:28 am

    I dunno, I kinda think ladies’ bits are more aesthetically for me. Penises are kinda funny looking, doncha think? I mean they get in the way of, you know, doing stuff.

    but peeing times seems to be greatly improved for the menses, so perhoops that’s reason enough…

  4. jodi 03.Jul.01 at 12:23 pm

    i dunno about you guys, but there is no rigourous upkeep involved with me. she and i have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy. i let her do her thing, she doesn’t bug me. it’s a wonderful relationship.

  5. paige 03.Jul.01 at 5:53 pm

    I have TOTAL penis envy. I won’t even go into my fantasies here, but suffice to say, I want one.

  6. guruvious 04.Jul.01 at 7:48 am

    you can have mine…I wasn’t using it anyway…

  7. paige 04.Jul.01 at 9:47 am

    Ooh, thanks!

  8. dangerman 04.Jul.01 at 2:47 pm

    careful paige…you don’t know where thats been.

  9. guruvious 05.Jul.01 at 6:58 am

    either do I…I tend to drink alot..