the woes of a big toe

i am here to tell you about the woes of my big toe. but first, you need a little backstory.

there was mighty, mighty thunderstorms across the great land of minnesota today. these might green thunderstorms with big hail and lots lightning hit just as the afterwork rush hour commenced. the sky was green and i waited for tornadoes to drop from teh sky. there was no rain but the flashing lightning and windy winds (nice, huh?) had me a wee bit nervous.

so sister #4 who was escorting me home (because i don’t have a car) and we were chatting about the weather, because that’s what minnesotans do. well, we turned the corner, just miles away from the folks’ house and the heavens opened up.

rain poured and hail pelted the little saturn. sister #4 drove down the middle of the road, because she couldn’t see anything. i sat in the passenger seat with my hands over my ears trying not to cry.

so after 37 near-death experiences we made it the last 5 miles to mom and dads. the hail was still pelting the car, the rain was still sheet-like, the winds still really, qutie windy. la casa de parentos was not the safe haven we had hoped for. we still had to leave the car to get to the house. well i flung open the door and was soaked instantly, i ran in my sloppy birkenstocks to the door. my dad held it open waiting our arrival. as i reached the steps, so close to dry warmth, i stubbed my big toe.

fuck. fuckityy fuckfuckfuckfuck, goddamnit fuck, fuck. . . fuck. ouch.

that hurt.

see when i do stuff, i don’t do none of this namby pamby stubbing toes and getting little ouchies. no, when i stub my toe i don’t mess around. there is much ripping of nails and blood and raggedy skin hanging off of damaged toes.

so my toe is all bloody and icky. part of the nail is all raggedy, but still attached to the skin below. it’s really disgusting. i tried to pull off the last remnants of raggedy, bloody toenail but i screamed like a baby. it hurt like hell. so there it sits. hanging out, that one corner of nail, all it’s nail like neighbors to the west are all gone. just the right side of my big toe and the southern nail portion to keep it company.

if i were any sort of a web content specialist, i’d take a picture and post it. but my toes, even in an undamaged state, are not all that attractive.

so yes, this is the start of my week. no car, sore toe . . woe is me.

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6 Comments

  1. greg 11.Jun.01 at 11:38 pm

    ewwww. yucky. i stubbed my little toe on my desk chair the other day. same thing, blood and all. hope your week gets better!

    Reply
  2. kaydee 12.Jun.01 at 1:41 am

    good luck!

    but: no more birkenstocks!

    Reply
  3. mickmars 12.Jun.01 at 8:43 am

    1. if you would wear shoes, there wouldn’t be a problem, you damn dirty hippie.

    2. you’re such a big baby.

    Reply
  4. jeffy 12.Jun.01 at 4:37 pm

    Sorry about the toe.

    If it makes you feel any better, I think I had a kinky dream about you last night, which is odd because a) I never have kinky dreams and b) I don’t actually know you.

    Get out of my head woman.

    Reply
  5. Skattie 12.Jun.01 at 9:49 pm

    Yeowtch! Just when I feel like it’s okay for me to start feeling sorry for myself, I read all this and it makes me ashamed of my own whininess…

    Sorry, Jodi… =(

    Reply
  6. Anonymous 01.Feb.03 at 7:25 am

    I thought this was a toast forum.

    Reply

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