so my day is over. tomorrow i will begin the task of being 29-year-old Jodi. i am sure it will prove to be most interesting.

i am, yet again, breaking my no-interent and intoxicating beverages rule. what is it abotu tequila that makes one so weepy? my dad claims tequila makes him fight. i think it makes mecry. different strokes for different folks, i suppose.

yes, i am sitting on my couch crying just minutes after my day of celebration. i don’t know if it’s because of the tequila or the lateness of the hour or just my inherent big babyness. i think it must be a combination of the three.

so what makes the lucky birthday girl cry?

clearly, it’s because although i appear to be 29, deep-down inside i am a 6’5″ 4-year-old brat. i am a brat.

yes, i am a brat. because i lug my birthday bootie into the house and immediately check my e-mail. my inbox is overflowing with birthday wishes. because i am so damn lucky and well, there was one missing and of course i burst into tears.

i am a brat, let’s not forget this most vital detail.

so yes, because i am a pathetic dork and because not a single boy at the bar even looked at me twice and because THE BOY forgot all about me, i cried.

i sat on my couch and cried like a little girl.

i am crying because i am ungrateful wench. there is no reason for an almost-adult woman to sit on her couch and cry on the night of her birthday. that’s just damn dumb . . and that makes me cry harder.

i am crying because i am lonely tonight. why is it that i only get lonely after sociallike occassions? does that make any sense. i can spend the entire weekend alond and not talk to a single soul and be fine. but get me out amongst people and socializing and what and i come home and i am so lonely i think my heart will crawl out of my chest and go look for better company.

but mostly i cry because i am a dork. i could go into my dorkiness, but i am sick of rivers of snot. now that i am 29, i need to stop believing in fairy stories and being naive and stuff. really, it’s not a good thing at all.

so happy birthday to me! my cup does run over, i was most blessed today by people who like and care about me. and i amnto being sarcastic at all. really, i believe that. i knowthat.

i will go to bed now and stop crying and i will get some sleep and the tequila will evaporate from my system and maybe the sun will shine tomorrow and i will smile and it will be fabulous.

really, it iwll.