tonight, i am so alone

tonight, i am so alone and lonely, i think my heart is breaking. it doesn’t help that i am about waist-deep in self-pity or that i had just enough to drink to make me tired and crabby.

what i can tell you is that i would have given everything i own to have one person, just one single person to come home with/to tonight. one person who would have been happy to see me arrive here. tomorrow, i will smile but tonight i want someone to rub my back as i cry myself to sleep.

bleh, self-pity ain’t pretty.

(Visited 51 times, 1 visits today)

15 Comments

  1. limpank 27.Sep.02 at 9:35 am

    i am so alone, Its like world has come to am end. Anyone i ever trusted, any girl i ever liked showed their back on me.
    i love her since last 4 year, but never said anything.
    V dont live we ony exist.

  2. Ariel 12.Dec.03 at 11:05 pm

    i’m afraid my loneliness has become something more than just a desperate emotion. For i am standing in a continuing darkness that echoes silence. I use to fear that i would never be able to have a moment to myself, a chance to be alone… and now that’s all i know…

  3. Brittany 22.Jan.04 at 4:25 pm

    I am so alone that it hurts to talk to people- people who don’t want to be with me. I am so alone and I wish that things were different… but what comfort can another person really bring. Because all people do is let you down.

  4. Adam 13.Feb.04 at 10:14 pm

    Another Valentines day has arrived and yet again I am stuck alone in my world of complete darkness. I feel that I live to experience loneliness and despair. I want to meet that special girl so badly but I am always told lies just so that they won’t have to be seen with me. The saying “Everybody has a special someone in this world” has no meaning in my life as there is nobody out there that would ever care about me or even think about how I feel.

  5. tower 14.Feb.04 at 9:21 pm

    i seem very happy and together but i am so lonly its not even funny. people dont call me to do anything, my family never calls my brother may as well be dead tome. i could go to the desert and die and it would take at least a month for people to realize tha i wqas gone. oh tower, idont know, i saw him a few months ago.

  6. Kye Raynor 20.Feb.04 at 4:39 am

    I Am so alone, I don’t even remember what company feels like. It is like a dark cloud, smothering me from everyone, cutting off the light. Everything is so dark.

    Help.

  7. David Strowal 20.Feb.04 at 4:55 am

    DGUFL: Don’t Give Up, Find Love.

  8. Kelsey 09.Jun.04 at 8:11 pm

    Im too tired to keep on….. I have given up finding a life to enjoy…… this is all i have and all i’ll ever have. im starting to except it just like everyone else does.

  9. someone 14.Jun.04 at 7:13 am

    why can’t you just bloody exist?! i slam the empty pillow next to me, throw it at the ceiling. the imaginary film i was projecting there quickly dissipates and the four walls come into focus; welcome to my world. one day i’ll be able to look back on this, one day i will find her. the pillow has fallen back down and landed on my face. i am lying there in the darkness, my arms spread out on the bed, wishing i was a castaway alone on some island; where my lonely fantasy could be justified. i can feel her arm brush past as she leans over to turn off the alarm. ‘i had a dream about you last night.’ no you didn’t, you don’t even exist. I lean over and turn off the alarm, lie back and she’s already gone.

  10. michael 27.Aug.04 at 5:09 am

    true loneliness.Not many people experience it but true loneliness can only ever be felt after true love.when you completely love someone and you build your world around them then they leave without a reason you are left feeling true loneliness.There is nothing worse, not even greif,because when someone you love leaves you to start again you feel greif,rejection,insecurity,bitterness and of course loneliness because the other part of you has gone,it is truly awfull,i wish it on no-one it has destroyed me.

  11. Michael Hunt 18.Sep.04 at 7:38 am

    Im so fucking lonely….I hate my life. I have no friends, no woman, no life….what is the point in living anymore? For years i have searched and have found absolutely no reason to continue my existence. Therefore it shall end soon….

  12. Alexandra 20.Sep.04 at 4:40 pm

    Hey guys. A lot of you sound like you’ve got some serious problems with depression. I used to be the same way, until I owned up to my problem and got help. Call your local hospital and they will refer you to a mental health professional. Also, medication can do absolute wonders. Please do it!

  13. G-Unit 20.Sep.04 at 4:54 pm

    Nah just end it.

  14. Terri 14.Oct.04 at 5:37 pm

    It is not easy to be happy. The problem arises when people think they should be in some sort of blissful state, that’s not realistic. I feel terrible too, trapped in an awful marriage, but I know it will only be temporary. You do not need anyone else to make you happy – but honestly, if you really want someone, there is a person out there for you – you can take that to the bank

  15. sikken 10.Nov.04 at 5:19 am

    One post here made me almost cry –

    “why can’t you just bloody exist?! i slam the empty pillow next to me, throw it at the ceiling. the imaginary film i was projecting there quickly dissipates and the four walls come into focus; welcome to my world. one day i’ll be able to look back on this, one day i will find her. the pillow has fallen back down and landed on my face. i am lying there in the darkness, my arms spread out on the bed, wishing i was a castaway alone on some island; where my lonely fantasy could be justified. i can feel her arm brush past as she leans over to turn off the alarm. ‘i had a dream about you last night.’ no you didn’t, you don’t even exist. I lean over and turn off the alarm, lie back and she’s already gone.”

    They are my words… I just did not write them. But in essence they are what I think.
    I cannot believe how shit my life is.

    Someone after that post said something abbout everyone suffering depression and they got fixed by getting help. THERE IS NO HELP. Anything they give you makes this 100 times worse.

    I know… Zoloft made me realise just how shit I am.

    And the girl I’ve loved for years, who I was almost over, has sudenly become a fixation to me, and it’s driving her even further away. She’d fuck the biggest wanker I know, and even now she says he was a wanker in hindsight, but Im … Im something lower… i guess.. cant even have a hug, or a kiss on new years eve.

    I hate life, My life. Some poor downtrodden lifeless sod out there could have been given all that I was and made something of it… I just wasted the ticket.

    And she will never have me…. Im so alone in this world, I can go days even weeks without speaking to anyone. No one would know I was dead if I died today. No one would know until the stench caused them to check it out.

    No one gives a shit, so why should I.

    Drink. again… it’s all I have… because it’s all I fucken deserve.

    I’ll love you forever vanessa… even tho you wouldnt care if I just dissapeared… i wish I could stop it. I wish I could forget about you.

    But alone and lonely I will die… twice tried, third times a charm…