Peabo and I were at Grumpy’s sans Jags who had to go to some Christmas concert at one of her kid’s school. We were having a grand old time talking about nipples, Vodo, our classmates, teacher contracts, having sex with tampons in (is this possible?), lesbians, and yoga. Pretty standard dinner conversation, I think.
At one point Peabo was talking about asking her yoga teacher out for a beer. I think. I’m a little foggy on the details because what happened next was of such epic proportions that the conversation that preceded it has been erased from my mind. From what I can recall thanks to hypnosis and extensive therapy the conversation went something like this:
“Blah blah I am afraid, what if, lesbian,” Peabo said.
“Blah blab blahblah your character’s have to say yes,” I said.
“Oh hohoho,” Peabo said. “That’s fictional characters. Irregardless of . . . ”
“OH MY GOD,” I cut her off and shouted in the middle of Grumpy’s. “You just said irregardless.”
We sat in silence for a moment, stunned. I watched as Peabo’s face grew ever more red.
“I can’t believe you said irregardless!”
“Me neither,” she said. “I’m so flustered, I’m blushing.”
“I know,” I said. “Because you said irregardless. I am so telling Dale next week.”
I laughed so hard that our favorite waitress Kelli even made a comment about my maniacal giggling. It was so awesome that I even had to write it down in my notebook of special things to remember not to forget.
The only reason this is so awesome is because generally Peabo is the most well-spoken person on the planet. You can tell that she puts thought into what she’s going to say and doesn’t generally blab out whatever pops into her head, unlike some people who type words for this blog. Plus, she’s a writer. A good writer. So having her blurt out this made up, bullshit word in the middle of a conversation is a cause for pause.
She said irregardless. So awesome.
the fifth thing is possible. i don’t recommend it. file it under drunken forgetfulness followed by worst trip to the doctor ever. the story, however, is priceless. i entitled it: deep cave, no windows.
And the worst sex ever? Could that even be comfortable?
okay. i’m emailing you the post i wrote about it on my old site. as for comfort … lets just say that if you’re drunk enough to forget about it, you’re too drunk to realize if something is comfortable or not.
I’m still totally humiliated. I replayed it over and over in my mind last night and contemplated driving off a bridge. Irregardless. Fuck.
I can’t believe you outted your friend like that in public! EVIL! Where’s your compassion?! We all have the occasional literary lapse. And ‘irregardless’ IS a lovely sounding word. It even looks pretty.
As we also discussed last night, Jodi is the type of friend who will point out if you’ve got something on your face or your zipper is down…she was only being a friend…in an incredibly mocking way…but I’d do the same thing to her, so it’s all fair. I should be mocked and shamed for it.
Also, in my defense — there was nobody else there. I mocked her in front of us, though I’d have done it if Jags was there too.
Come on, irregardless? It doesn’t help that earlier in writing class we were talking about bullshit words people use all the time. The mocking was totally on topic.
okay okay! tough love! i get it! :o) i live in the south. the combo that makes me cringe daily is the comfortable useage of “might could” by seemingly educated people. irregardless is absolute POETRY next to “might could”