we started with tater tots, nachos and the beer, like we always do. but that’s about all the further we got before all the disparate pieces of my world came colliding into one gigantic explosion of total bizarreness.

at one point Jags said to me, “i can’t believe you’re blushing so much. you just exude confidence, but now your face is betraying you.”

i could have crawled across the table to hug her.

when the my children’s grandchildren unearth this piece of our family history, i’m pretty sure the blame will fall squarely on Kelly’s shoulders, though i think the vodo himself might be the real cause of my crashing worlds. if Kelly were wise, she’d throw herself on the mercy of the court.

so at some point tonight, the vodo leaned over to Kelly and asked her about blogging. Kelly, unlike me, is very up front about keeping a blog (gah, i hate that word). He was asking her about stephenkingsgirl, and how she got started. she talked about reading blogs, and writers she knew who had blogs, and how i had a blog.

that’s when my face started to glow. even mike, who was sitting next to me, said i had good color tonight. i think he might have also made a crack about how he could keep his hands warm from the heat my face was throwing off.

i don’t talk about iwilldare.com very often. i’m not sure why, i just don’t. as anyone who reads here for more than 10 minutes knows, i’m kinda frank, candid and honest. perhaps that’s why i keep my mouth shut. who the hell knows?

but as my face grew ever redder and hotter, i finally cracked. and all my blog secrets came pouring forth from my mouth. i gave out the URL, i talked about being googled and the people who read here. it was kind of, well, nice, i guess. i think most of me ‘mates got a kick out of my embarrassment. i’m not sure why i was/am so embarrassed. i admitted right there at the table that i love iwilldare.com more than i love a lot of the people i know.

so that’s all fine and dandy, the talking of the blogs. but right after that we leaped straight from blogworld and right smack dab into the middle of bizarro world.

somehow the vodo made the leap from blogs to the Westernerd Message Board that i post to every day. as any long-time reader knows, the vodo is a ‘mats fan (it’s part of the reason i crushed so hard on him).

he asked me if i ever posted there, and i was all “only like everyday.” and then he asked if i posted a lot and i told him that i’m like all-time queen of the Westernerd post-a-lots. at this he reveals his secret westernerd identity, and then he’s said, “the only one i ever remember is that wolfdogg.”

as soon as the word wolfdogg is out of his mouth, Mike and Kelly are practically jumping out of their seats.
“I KNOW HIM,” kelly shouts.
“he’s a really good friend of mine,” i said.
“he was here like a couple weeks ago,” Mike said.

the vodo shakes his head, a little stunned by the reaction. “what?”

i tell him that wolfdogg’s a friend of mine and he was at Grumpy’s a few weeks ago (a night the vodo wasn’t there).

AND THEN
AND THEN
AND THEN

because the night hadn’t grown quite weird enough, i feel a pair of hands cover my eyes. i start to lift them off and turn around. it’s FFJ & FFJH. i start to squeal because i haven’t seen FFJ in ages, i’m trying to introduce her, the vodo’s trying to talk to FFJ because he hasn’t seen her in like 49 years, and kelly’s introducing herself.

as soon as Kelly said, “hi, i’m kelly.” FFJ started to scream because they immediately recognized each other from the pages of iwilldare.com.

phew.

i think i screamed OH MY GOD all the way home tonight. poor kelly, she had to ride with me.