January 30, 1991
I am so lonely I could die. I have yet to make one single, solitary friend. Just thinking about it makes me feel like crying. If I never go to school again, not a single person would notice! It’s so very depressing. I hate being a nobody in a world of somebodys. Other than that extremely depressing thought, school could be classified as OK. Nothing more, Nothing less. Actuall I think I might hate it! I dread going to school. I sit by myself in every class. I don’t know anyone at all, and the one girl who is from Blaine Jill acts as if I’m not there and she’s never ever seen me before in her entire life. I hope things get better. I don’t think they could get any worse!

Minutes (1/2 hour) later

Now that I have that out of my system, I feel much better. I don’t know what’s wrong. It used to be I could care less about what anyone thought of me. Now all of a sudden that’s all I seem to think about. Oh I bet “they” think I’m a big nerd, a fat cow, blah, blah, blah, blah.

I have got to stop that. Like it really matters what anyone from school things. All I have to be is myself. I have friends, good ones, that like me, so i can’t be a total dweeb. I just hope and pray things will get better. They just have to.

February 9, 1991
School isn’t so bad as I first thought. I still feel unbearably lonely at certain times and yet sometimes it doesn’t even bother me. I’m sure it’ll just take time. I have talked to few people forom Blain. Brenda Robinson and Jill. Jill came up to me and asked me if I went to Blaine. She remembers me from being editor and all the awards (what awards?). She said she didn’t recognize me at first because of the my hair, but she thought I looked familiar.

today
i forgot that when i was in high school, i was a longish haired bleached blonde, and when i want to college, i was a short-haired dirty blonde.